Absolute Johannes factotum
- SCP-9764 (?)
- SCP-9764 is a dangerous natural defense mechanism found in all eels. If any human witnesses eels breeding in the wild, that person will immediately begin to evaporate, starting from their head and ending at their right pinky toe. This process is described as painless but uncomfortable, causing the person to become incoherent and immobile as their brain dissolves. The water produced from this evaporation is cold, salty, and chemically similar to water from the Sargasso Sea. To prevent this, efforts are made to stop humans from ever seeing eels breed in their natural habitat.
- Horsey Horseless (?)
- The Horsey Horseless was an automobile designed in 1899 by Uriah Smith, a preacher from Michigan. Its unique feature was a wooden horse head and neck attached to the front, intended to prevent actual horses on the road from being frightened by the new "horseless carriages". The hollow horse head also served as the vehicle's fuel tank. While it is unknown if the Horsey Horseless was ever built, it was included in Time Magazine's 2007 list of "The 50 Worst Cars of All Time".