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sudo.me.uk

A stupid little ASCII terminal simulator that destroys a procedurally generated city 76 different ways. Pick your poison, watch the chaos animate in glorious green-on-black monospace, then hit reset and do it again.

🔗 Live: sudo.me.uk

What it is

You land on a fake terminal running sudo rm -rf /*, pick a "method" from a grid of scenarios (or hit the 🎱 RANDOM button to let it choose for you), and watch a fully animated, character-grid rendering of a city get wiped out in that style — screen shake, rain, fire, smoke, the works — ending on a "the city is gone — press RESET" hold screen.

No backend logic, no database, no point. Just a page that renders everything as plain text.

Methods

All 76 methods, in picker order. Each has a real, shareable URL at ?m=<#>.

# Method Category What happens
0 Nuclear Bomb Classic The classic red-button mushroom cloud
1 Tsunami Classic A curling tidal wave sweeps left to right
2 Asteroid Classic A flaming rock streaks down from upper-left to city centre
3 Godzilla Kaiju/Sci-fi A giant kaiju stomps in from the right, flattening the city
4 Napalm Classic Incendiary blobs rain down, igniting spreading flames
5 The Sun Kaiju/Sci-fi A red giant swells over the horizon and scorches Earth to nothing
6 Aliens Kaiju/Sci-fi A mothership descends and blasts the city with green beams
7 Zombies Kaiju/Sci-fi An undead horde pours in and overruns the city
8 Locusts Classic A plague of insects blots the sky and devours the city
9 Tornado Classic A funnel crosses the city, sucking buildings into flying debris
10 Earthquake Classic The ground splits and buildings topple into the fissures
11 Volcano Classic A mountain erupts, raining lava bombs and flooding the city
12 Riots Classic An angry mob floods the streets, torching buildings
13 Air Crash Classic An airliner streaks in and slams into the city in a fireball
14 Toxic Waste Classic Glowing green sludge floods and dissolves the city
15 ISS Crash Classic The space station deorbits, burns through the sky, and impacts
16 Sharknado Kaiju/Sci-fi A watery funnel full of flying, chomping sharks
17 Sauron Movie/game A great dark tower rises with the flaming Eye atop, orcs overrun the city
18 Snowpiercer Movie/game A deep-freeze locks the whole city in ice
19 Thanos Movie/game The Avengers fail, he snaps, and half of everything turns to dust
20 Inception Movie/game The city folds up and over onto itself
21 Dragons Movie/game Drogon & co. wheel over the city and burn it to ash
22 AI Takeover Kaiju/Sci-fi The machines convert the city into cascading code
23 Back to the Future Movie/game A DeLorean hits 88mph, and the city becomes the Old West
24 Man of Steel Movie/game The Kryptonian World Engine terraforms the city while super-beings brawl
25 Jurassic Park Movie/game A T. rex rampages downtown, raptors roam the streets
26 Satan Movie/game The ground splits open, Hell's army rises, and the Devil claims his throne
27 Titanic Movie/game The great liner ploughs straight through the city, then keels over and lists onto its side
28 Baldur's Gate Movie/game A mind flayer nautiloid crashes through the city
29 EMP Kaiju/Sci-fi An electromagnetic pulse blacks out the city — buildings stand, lights die
30 War Kaiju/Sci-fi Tanks roll in, jets strafe, artillery shells level the city
31 Jumanji Movie/game The jungle bursts out of the board game and overruns the city
32 Ghostbusters Movie/game Ghosts swarm, then the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man stomps the city
33 Frozen Movie/game Elsa's magic sweeps out, an ice castle rises, the world freezes
34 Landslide Classic A mass of earth and boulders slides down from the upper-left
35 Alien vs Predator Movie/game Xenomorphs and Predators battle through the city
36 Mortal Engines Movie/game Cranes strip the city for parts, which drives off as a Traction City
37 The Simpsons Movie/game A giant glass dome drops over the city, sealing it in
38 Emu War Whimsical The army opens fire, the emus don't care, the army loses
39 Neil the Seal Whimsical He waddles up to each building, bashes it flat, then moves to the next
40 Kool-Aid Man Whimsical He bursts through half the city, then shatters into glass and punch
41 Gray Goo Kaiju/Sci-fi Self-replicating nanomachines consume everything, spreading outward
42 Mine Turtle Whimsical Everybody does the flop off the rooftops, right onto the mine turtle
43 Triffids Movie/game A green comet blinds everyone, then the triffids walk
44 Little Tikes Whimsical A kid climbs into a monster-truck Cozy Coupe for a chase and flip
45 Ion Cannon Kaiju/Sci-fi A satellite locks on, then drops a column of pure energy on the city
46 Death Star Movie/game It hovers above the city, then unleashes its superlaser
47 LGBT Agenda Whimsical No destruction — the city just gets a very fabulous makeover
48 The Joker Movie/game A street parade rolls out the gas canisters, and Batman is too late
49 Suicide Squad Movie/game The Enchantress opens her machine, the Squad fights through, Diablo burns it down
50 12 Monkeys Movie/game The zoo stunt is a red herring — Dr. Peters spreads the real virus, the city empties, animals reclaim it
51 Suicide Squad 2 Movie/game A decoy team dies on the beach, the real team blows up Jotunheim, and Starro breaks loose
52 GTA Movie/game A GTA-style 1-5 star wanted level escalates from patrol cars to citywide alert
53 Sim City Movie/game An empty field, then a city rises from it — before an asteroid wipes it out
54 Duke Nukem 3D Movie/game The mirror one-liner, then Duke wades through an alien-infested city
55 Dolly Whimsical No destruction — a non-destructive 9-to-5 tribute, the city clocks in, sings along, and clocks out
56 Tim Curry Movie/game A victory lap through his best-known roles, ending in the Time Warp
57 Wicked Movie/game The city turns emerald, and the flying monkeys give chase over the rooftops
58 LTT Movie/game A routine GPU review goes wrong, and Linus saves it with a sponsor read
59 Melon Tusk Movie/game An Optimus-piloted Roadster deorbits itself, and a tech titan spins the fallout
60 Fart Whimsical A performer clears their throat, turns around, and a sound wave shatters every window in earshot
61 Rubber Movie/game A telepathic car tire named Robert rolls around making heads explode
62 Tomatoes Movie/game Attack of the Killer Tomatoes — they roll in, and nothing stops them
63 Cocaine Bear Movie/game Same plot, wrong setting — a smuggler's plane, some duffel bags, one very motivated bear
64 Cats and Dogs Whimsical No destruction — it just, literally, rains cats and dogs
65 Lube Whimsical Everything gets an oily coating, and the skyline slides sideways to the ground
66 Doctor Who Movie/game Classic baddies swarm the city until the TARDIS materializes and the Doctor deals with them
67 Sports Direct Whimsical A mug tips over, and the city drowns in coffee
68 Ricks Movie/game Thousands of Ricks build the Citadel to govern themselves — class inequality, a police state, and an assassination plot tear it apart
69 Minecraft Movie/game The city is repainted blocky Minecraft colours, and a creeper sets off a stack of TNT in the town square
70 Elephant's Toothpaste Whimsical A science-fair demo in the town square goes wrong, and the foam never stops rising, burying the first five floors of every building
71 Idiocracy Movie/game Two hibernation volunteers oversleep by 500 years and wake to a country buried in garbage, watered with Brawndo, and run by a wrestler-president
72 Blobby Whimsical A pink, spotted kaiju escapes a secret lab and rampages through London, hugging landmarks to bits out of sheer enthusiasm
73 Dumpster Fire Whimsical A burning bin rolls through the city, setting fire to everything in its wake
74 Barney Whimsical A wished-to-life plush dinosaur lays waste to Milton Keynes, one over-enthusiastic hug at a time
75 Blobby vs Barney Whimsical Clash of the Wobbly Titans — two huggers meet, and the city doesn't survive the affection

How it works

Everything is rendered as monospace text — a shared procedural city generator builds a skyline, a character-grid painter colors each cell per "mode," and a state machine of animation phases drives each scenario frame by frame. No canvas, no images, no sprites — just strings and setTimeout.

Each of the 76 methods lives in its own file under js/methods/, fetched only the first time it's actually launched — the page itself just ships the shared engine and a small loader, not all 76 methods' worth of code up front.

Every method also has a real, shareable URL (?m=<id>) that launches it directly, and a share button in the bottom-right corner lets you share either the current destruction or the bare site link.

The page is served as PHP (index.php) purely so it can do a lightweight server-side check against this repo's GitHub releases — the version badge in the top bar turns red with a tooltip if the live build doesn't match a published release.

Running locally

It's a PHP file plus a js/methods/ directory of per-method scripts — no build step, no dependencies.

index.php requires a config.php to exist (it's gitignored, so it's not in this repo). Copy the sample first:

cp config.sample.php config.php
php -S localhost:8000

Then open http://localhost:8000.

License

GPL-3.0

About

A stupid little ASCII terminal simulator that destroys a procedurally generated city 76 different ways — nukes, Godzilla, aliens, Titanic, Neil the Seal, an Emu War, you name it. Pick your poison and watch the chaos animate in glorious green-on-black monospace. No point to it, just vibes.

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