diff --git a/changelog/701.bugfix.rst b/changelog/701.bugfix.rst
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..c612073d
--- /dev/null
+++ b/changelog/701.bugfix.rst
@@ -0,0 +1,9 @@
+Hookimpls and hookspecs are now discovered via :func:`inspect.getattr_static`, so
+properties, ``cached_property`` and other descriptors are no longer executed while
+scanning a plugin. Hooks declared through such a descriptor are not supported.
+
+As a side effect, ``@hookimpl``/``@hookspec`` applied *above* ``@classmethod`` or
+``@staticmethod`` is now picked up; previously the marker sat on the wrapper where
+``getattr()`` never saw it. Callables stored directly on a plugin instance -- in its
+``__dict__`` or in a ``__slots__`` slot -- keep being called exactly as ``getattr()``
+returned them, i.e. without an implicit ``self``.
diff --git a/src/pluggy/_manager.py b/src/pluggy/_manager.py
index 325388a8..b265aecc 100644
--- a/src/pluggy/_manager.py
+++ b/src/pluggy/_manager.py
@@ -50,6 +50,82 @@ def _warn_for_function(warning: Warning, function: Callable[..., object]) -> Non
     )
 
 
+_ABSENT: Final = object()
+
+
+def _instance_dict(obj: object) -> dict[str, Any]:
+    """Return ``obj``'s own ``__dict__``, without going through ``getattr``."""
+    try:
+        instance_dict = object.__getattribute__(obj, "__dict__")
+    except AttributeError:
+        return {}
+    return instance_dict if isinstance(instance_dict, dict) else {}
+
+
+def _static_hook_attr(
+    obj: object, name: str
+) -> tuple[object, Callable[..., object]] | None:
+    """Return ``(marker_holder, function)`` for ``name`` on ``obj``, else None.
+
+    Lookup avoids ``getattr()`` so that properties, ``cached_property`` and
+    other descriptors are skipped instead of being evaluated -- hooks provided
+    through such a descriptor (or only through ``__getattr__``) are not
+    supported. Only plain functions, :class:`classmethod`, :class:`staticmethod`
+    and already-bound :class:`~types.MethodType` objects are hookable.
+
+    ``marker_holder`` is the object that may carry the hookimpl/hookspec
+    options: the ``classmethod``/``staticmethod`` wrapper when the marker was
+    applied above it, the underlying function otherwise. ``function`` is bound
+    exactly the way ``getattr()`` would have bound it.
+    """
+    if not (inspect.isclass(obj) or inspect.ismodule(obj)):
+        # Values stored on the instance itself -- in ``__dict__`` or in a
+        # ``__slots__`` slot -- are handed out by ``getattr()`` as they are,
+        # bypassing the descriptor protocol, so they must not be bound here.
+        value = _instance_dict(obj).get(name, _ABSENT)
+        if value is _ABSENT:
+            slot = inspect.getattr_static(obj, name, None)
+            if isinstance(slot, types.MemberDescriptorType):
+                # Reading a slot runs no user code.
+                try:
+                    value = slot.__get__(obj, type(obj))
+                except AttributeError:
+                    value = _ABSENT
+        if value is not _ABSENT:
+            if isinstance(value, types.MethodType):
+                return value.__func__, value
+            if inspect.isfunction(value):
+                return value, value
+            return None
+
+    static: object = inspect.getattr_static(obj, name, None)
+    if isinstance(static, staticmethod):
+        return static, static.__func__
+    if isinstance(static, classmethod):
+        owner = obj if inspect.isclass(obj) else type(obj)
+        return static, cast(Callable[..., object], static.__get__(owner, owner))
+    if isinstance(static, types.MethodType):
+        return static.__func__, static
+    if inspect.isfunction(static):
+        if inspect.isclass(obj) or inspect.ismodule(obj):
+            return static, static
+        return static, static.__get__(obj, type(obj))
+    return None
+
+
+def _get_marker_opts(holder: object, attrname: str) -> dict[str, Any] | None:
+    """Read marker options from ``holder``, falling back to ``__func__``."""
+    opts = getattr(holder, attrname, None)
+    if opts is not None:
+        return opts if isinstance(opts, dict) else None
+    func = getattr(holder, "__func__", None)
+    if func is not None:
+        opts = getattr(func, attrname, None)
+        if opts is not None:
+            return opts if isinstance(opts, dict) else None
+    return None
+
+
 class PluginValidationError(Exception):
     """Plugin failed validation.
 
@@ -145,7 +221,13 @@ def register(self, plugin: _Plugin, name: str | None = None) -> str | None:
             hookimpl_opts = self.parse_hookimpl_opts(plugin, attr_name)
             if hookimpl_opts is not None:
                 normalize_hookimpl_opts(hookimpl_opts)
-                method: _HookImplFunction[object] = getattr(plugin, attr_name)
+                found = _static_hook_attr(plugin, attr_name)
+                # Only reachable when a subclass overrode parse_hookimpl_opts
+                # to claim an attribute pluggy cannot bind.
+                assert found is not None, (
+                    f"{plugin!r}.{attr_name} is not a hookable attribute"
+                )
+                method: _HookImplFunction[object] = found[1]
                 hookimpl = HookImpl(plugin, plugin_name, method, hookimpl_opts)
                 hook_name = hookimpl_opts.get("specname") or attr_name
                 hook: HookCaller | None = getattr(self.hook, hook_name, None)
@@ -168,20 +250,18 @@ def parse_hookimpl_opts(self, plugin: _Plugin, name: str) -> HookimplOpts | None
         This method can be overridden by ``PluginManager`` subclasses to
         customize how hook implementation are picked up. By default, returns the
         options for items decorated with :class:`HookimplMarker`.
+
+        Discovery uses :func:`inspect.getattr_static` so properties and other
+        descriptors are not executed. Only functions, classmethods,
+        staticmethods, and bound methods are considered.
         """
-        method: object = getattr(plugin, name)
-        if not inspect.isroutine(method):
+        found = _static_hook_attr(plugin, name)
+        if found is None:
             return None
-        try:
-            res: HookimplOpts | None = getattr(
-                method, self.project_name + "_impl", None
-            )
-        except Exception:  # pragma: no cover
-            res = {}  # type: ignore[assignment] #pragma: no cover
-        if res is not None and not isinstance(res, dict):
-            # false positive
-            res = None  # type:ignore[unreachable] #pragma: no cover
-        return res
+        return cast(
+            HookimplOpts | None,
+            _get_marker_opts(found[0], self.project_name + "_impl"),
+        )
 
     def unregister(
         self, plugin: _Plugin | None = None, name: str | None = None
@@ -273,10 +353,18 @@ def parse_hookspec_opts(
         This method can be overridden by ``PluginManager`` subclasses to
         customize how hook specifications are picked up. By default, returns the
         options for items decorated with :class:`HookspecMarker`.
+
+        Discovery uses :func:`inspect.getattr_static` so properties and other
+        descriptors are not executed. Only functions, classmethods,
+        staticmethods, and bound methods are considered.
         """
-        method = getattr(module_or_class, name)
-        opts: HookspecOpts | None = getattr(method, self.project_name + "_spec", None)
-        return opts
+        found = _static_hook_attr(module_or_class, name)
+        if found is None:
+            return None
+        return cast(
+            HookspecOpts | None,
+            _get_marker_opts(found[0], self.project_name + "_spec"),
+        )
 
     def get_plugins(self) -> set[Any]:
         """Return a set of all registered plugin objects."""
diff --git a/testing/test_pluginmanager.py b/testing/test_pluginmanager.py
index dd395950..43c2f73a 100644
--- a/testing/test_pluginmanager.py
+++ b/testing/test_pluginmanager.py
@@ -3,6 +3,7 @@
 """
 
 import importlib.metadata
+import types
 from typing import Any
 from typing import cast
 
@@ -125,6 +126,216 @@ class A:
     assert pm.register(A(), "somename")
 
 
+def test_register_ignores_properties(he_pm: PluginManager) -> None:
+    class ClassWithProperties:
+        property_was_executed: bool = False
+
+        @property
+        def some_func(self):
+            self.property_was_executed = True  # pragma: no cover
+
+    # Registering the class is harmless (getattr returns the property object).
+    he_pm.register(ClassWithProperties)
+    # Registering an instance must not evaluate the property getter.
+    test_plugin = ClassWithProperties()
+    he_pm.register(test_plugin)
+    assert not test_plugin.property_was_executed
+
+
+def test_register_ignores_cached_property(he_pm: PluginManager) -> None:
+    from functools import cached_property
+
+    class ClassWithCachedProperty:
+        cached_was_executed: bool = False
+
+        @cached_property
+        def some_func(self) -> None:
+            self.cached_was_executed = True  # pragma: no cover
+
+    test_plugin = ClassWithCachedProperty()
+    he_pm.register(test_plugin)
+    assert not test_plugin.cached_was_executed
+    assert "some_func" not in test_plugin.__dict__
+
+
+def test_register_ignores_raising_descriptors(he_pm: PluginManager) -> None:
+    """Descriptor attrs are skipped without accessing them via getattr."""
+
+    class RaisingDescriptor:
+        def __get__(self, obj: object, owner: type | None = None) -> object:
+            raise AttributeError("descriptor access failed")
+
+    class PluginWithRaisingDescriptor:
+        weird_attr = RaisingDescriptor()
+
+        @hookimpl
+        def he_method1(self, arg: object) -> list[object]:
+            return [arg]
+
+    plugin = PluginWithRaisingDescriptor()
+    assert "weird_attr" in dir(plugin)
+    with pytest.raises(AttributeError):
+        _ = plugin.weird_attr
+
+    he_pm.register(plugin)
+    assert he_pm.hook.he_method1(arg=1) == [[1]]
+
+
+def test_register_hookimpl_above_classmethod(he_pm: PluginManager) -> None:
+    """@hookimpl applied above @classmethod is discoverable via static lookup."""
+
+    class Plugin:
+        @hookimpl
+        @classmethod
+        def he_method1(cls, arg: object) -> list[object]:
+            return [arg]
+
+    he_pm.register(Plugin())
+    assert he_pm.hook.he_method1(arg=1) == [[1]]
+
+
+def test_register_hookimpl_above_staticmethod(he_pm: PluginManager) -> None:
+    """@hookimpl applied above @staticmethod is discoverable via static lookup."""
+
+    class Plugin:
+        @hookimpl
+        @staticmethod
+        def he_method1(arg: object) -> list[object]:
+            return [arg]
+
+    he_pm.register(Plugin())
+    assert he_pm.hook.he_method1(arg=1) == [[1]]
+
+
+def test_register_instance_attribute_function_is_not_bound(
+    he_pm: PluginManager,
+) -> None:
+    """A function stored on the instance is called unbound, as ``getattr`` does."""
+
+    class Plugin:
+        def __init__(self) -> None:
+            @hookimpl
+            def he_method1(arg: object) -> list[object]:
+                return [arg]
+
+            # Instance attributes bypass the descriptor protocol, so no ``self``
+            # is injected and the hook must keep its declared signature.
+            self.he_method1 = he_method1
+
+    he_pm.register(Plugin())
+    assert he_pm.hook.he_method1(arg=1) == [[1]]
+
+
+def test_register_instance_attribute_bound_method(he_pm: PluginManager) -> None:
+    """A bound method stored on the instance stays bound to its own object."""
+
+    class Impl:
+        @hookimpl
+        def he_method1(self, arg: object) -> list[object]:
+            return [self, arg]
+
+    impl = Impl()
+
+    class Plugin:
+        pass
+
+    plugin = Plugin()
+    plugin.he_method1 = impl.he_method1  # type: ignore[attr-defined]
+
+    he_pm.register(plugin)
+    assert he_pm.hook.he_method1(arg=1) == [[impl, 1]]
+
+
+def test_register_slot_attribute_function_is_not_bound(he_pm: PluginManager) -> None:
+    """A function stored in a ``__slots__`` slot is found and called unbound."""
+
+    class Plugin:
+        __slots__ = ("he_method1", "unset")
+
+        def __init__(self) -> None:
+            @hookimpl
+            def he_method1(arg: object) -> list[object]:
+                return [arg]
+
+            self.he_method1 = he_method1
+
+    plugin = Plugin()
+    # ``dir()`` lists ``unset`` too; an unassigned slot must be skipped quietly.
+    assert "unset" in dir(plugin)
+    he_pm.register(plugin)
+    assert he_pm.hook.he_method1(arg=1) == [[1]]
+
+
+def test_register_module_level_bound_method(he_pm: PluginManager) -> None:
+    """A bound method assigned onto a module namespace is hookable."""
+
+    class Impl:
+        @hookimpl
+        def he_method1(self, arg: object) -> list[object]:
+            return [self, arg]
+
+    impl = Impl()
+    module = types.ModuleType("module_plugin")
+    module.he_method1 = impl.he_method1  # type: ignore[attr-defined]
+
+    he_pm.register(module)
+    assert he_pm.hook.he_method1(arg=1) == [[impl, 1]]
+
+
+def test_register_ignores_unmarked_class_and_static_methods(
+    he_pm: PluginManager,
+) -> None:
+    """Undecorated classmethods/staticmethods carry no marker on either side."""
+
+    class Plugin:
+        @classmethod
+        def not_a_hook_cm(cls) -> None: ...
+
+        @staticmethod
+        def not_a_hook_sm() -> None: ...
+
+        @hookimpl
+        def he_method1(self, arg: object) -> list[object]:
+            return [arg]
+
+    plugin = Plugin()
+    assert he_pm.parse_hookimpl_opts(plugin, "not_a_hook_cm") is None
+    assert he_pm.parse_hookimpl_opts(plugin, "not_a_hook_sm") is None
+
+    he_pm.register(plugin)
+    assert he_pm.hook.he_method1(arg=1) == [[1]]
+
+
+def test_register_ignores_non_callable_instance_attributes(pm: PluginManager) -> None:
+    """Instance attributes that are not routines are never hook candidates."""
+
+    class Plugin:
+        def __init__(self) -> None:
+            self.some_value = 42
+
+    assert pm.parse_hookimpl_opts(Plugin(), "some_value") is None
+
+
+def test_hookspec_lookup_ignores_properties(pm: PluginManager) -> None:
+    """Hookspec discovery must not evaluate descriptors either."""
+
+    class Spec:
+        was_executed = False
+
+        @property
+        def not_a_spec(self) -> None:
+            type(self).was_executed = True  # pragma: no cover
+
+        @hookspec
+        def he_method1(self, arg: object) -> object: ...
+
+    # Spec instances are supported at runtime, see the ``he_pm`` fixture.
+    spec = cast(Any, Spec())
+    pm.add_hookspecs(spec)
+    assert not Spec.was_executed
+    assert pm.parse_hookspec_opts(spec, "not_a_spec") is None
+
+
 def test_register_mismatch_method(he_pm: PluginManager) -> None:
     class hello:
         @hookimpl
@@ -893,3 +1104,6 @@ def goodbye(self, arg: object) -> int:
     assert len(hookcallers) == 2
     caller_names = {hc.name for hc in hookcallers}
     assert caller_names == {"hello", "goodbye"}
+    # Both hello impls are still wired up, and each caller works.
+    assert pm.hook.hello(arg=1) == [101, 2]
+    assert pm.hook.goodbye(arg=1) == [201]